It's been awhile

So, I haven't blogged in awhile, and it is not because I have had to much to do... Actually I have nothing to do, as I have been laid off of my job since Monday. I don't know how to feel about it right now. I am welcoming the chance to find another job, explore other careers and hopefully find higher. On the other hand, we are in a huge recession! What the hell am I supposed to do? I have skills. I have done everything under the sun in the customer service industry, but painfully, that is not what I want to do anymore. I have to market myself and hopefully land myself a new carer. Until then I will pray that the little money I have coming in will take me through this. I have a wonderful family and I will manage. I am scared though ( I am human, after all!) I have been out of a job before, but never as a mother. This is different, I have a little person to look after. My unemployment would barely cover rent. Child support pays for daycare.
And then there is another side. The side that doesn't involve money. The side that involves my esteem and my heart.
I would love to talk about getting laid off, how it felt, but I don't know if I am there yet. I am not ready to deal with it. Right now, I acknowldge the fact that I have no job but to discuss the way being laid off has made my heart burst to the point pain no longer existing... I don't even know how to begin. I am deflated, and I feel useless. It has only been a week, and I already lost track of the days.